


A Song of Becoming
Was it worth it?
Is there any good?
Did it change you for the better
in some small ways or big?
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Maybe not in so many words,
Maybe not to you,
But there is something beautiful in the
"I wouldn't have chosen this", it's true.
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Was it worth it?
I'm not sure,
But what I know is this:
"I am here"
I did not cave, I did not break in fear.
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I'm proud of the woman I'm becoming,
One who isn't afraid to say,
"Damn, that almost killed me,
but I did it anyway."
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I want to soften in my middle years,
Hold other people loosely
Allow those I love to get it wrong,
And love them harder still
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I will sing my song even louder,
Not discouraged by the cry,
"This isn't who we thought you were,
Good Women don't ask 'why?'"
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I am bringing out my largeness,
I refuse to hold me back
I am fiercely soft and tender,
I am strong enough not to crack
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I will listen with intention,
I will act with confidence
I know who I'm becoming,
The veil no longer fits.
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The Shattering/The Becoming
In the beginning, before there were words
Before things didn’t make sense in this world,
You were Light without trying,
You didn’t need to strive
You were dancing Beauty with nothing to hide
But then you were trained to:
Cover up, tone it down
Certainty became the ultimate virtue
Grow up and please them now,
While cloaked in flawless performance
Simultaneously play small/do it all
You don’t have to choose
(tenderness sacrificed on the altar of success—
just the small parts you lose)
Delicate, aching,
your supple skin strained
An attack on your innocence—
Where cracks soon appeared
Stuck, trapped,
you can’t break out
Expectations are suffocating
like an opaque, heavy shroud
Clutch at the canvas
stretched over your frame,
Keeping you quiet, keeping you tame
When it’s ripped off,
You’re exposed and raw
Everything you know is gone
Shatter the plaster cast holding your form:
Keeping you static; Keeping you safe
Rip off the patches sewn onto your heart
Your translucent Beauty awaits.
When the shroud has been shredded,
and there’s nowhere to hide
Who are you really,
On the sacred inside?
You are luminous
You are light
You belong to no one,
save the One you came from.
You are equal parts earthy and divine
Caught in between the now and not yet
You shriek in The Shattering
when it all comes crumbling down
You sing in The Becoming
as you find your long lost self
And now, in the middle, when you grasp a few words
Even though things don’t make sense in this world,
You are Light without trying
There’s no need to strive,
You are dancing Beauty
You have nothing to hide.
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Shadow and Light
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She used to spend her days
wandering around from room to room
Banishing all the shadows
Dismissing all the gloom
She threw open all the windows
until light flooded every hue
No space for sorrow,
nothing less than "perfect",
could ever be on view
Beauty on display
No crack could ever show
Bright exposures and sunlight
Cast an effervescent glow
But deep down inside
Layered under all the filters,
Lived a little girl who felt deeply--
who longed for tender shelter
A room that was safe to just be
Uncovered, unposed, unexplained
A place where both shadow and light could coexist
And for that to be ok.